What If Hating Your Body Is the Very Thing Making Change Harder?

For a long time, women have been taught to believe that being unhappy with their bodies is what motivates change. We look in the mirror, criticize what we see, pull at our clothes, avoid photographs, and tell ourselves we have finally had enough. We assume that if we become uncomfortable enough with ourselves, we will finally do something about it.

But what if that is backwards?

What if hating your body is not the fuel that creates lasting change? What if it is one of the things making change harder?

That is what caught my attention in the Psychology Today article Is It Possible to Value Your Body While Changing It? The article challenges the idea that dissatisfaction and self-criticism are necessary for motivation. Instead, it suggests that valuing your body and wanting to care for it can be a much healthier foundation for change.

I think this matters enormously in Body Bella because I have met so many women who believed they had to be disgusted with themselves before they could finally become disciplined enough to change. They thought the harsh voice in their head was keeping them accountable.

But think about what happens when every choice begins from, “I hate this body.”

Food becomes punishment. Exercise becomes something you do because you ate too much. The scale becomes a judgment. One difficult day becomes evidence that you have failed again. Eventually, caring for yourself starts to feel like another exhausting job you are not doing well enough.

That is very different from looking at your body and thinking, I care about you enough to do something differently.

You can want to release weight because carrying it is uncomfortable. You can want more energy, easier movement, better sleep, stronger muscles, or clothes that fit differently. None of that requires you to hate yourself first.

In fact, loving yourself enough to change may create an entirely different kind of motivation.

You nourish yourself because your body deserves good food. You move because you want to remain strong. You rest because exhaustion is not a badge of honor. You pay attention to what your body is telling you because it matters to you.

There is a big difference between trying to escape your body and deciding to take care of it.

One says, “I will like myself when I finally change.”

The other says, “Because I value myself, I am willing to change the way I care for myself now.”

That is the shift I want you to notice.

Your current body does not have to become the enemy in order for you to want something different. You do not have to shame yourself into becoming healthier. You do not have to stand in front of the mirror and find something wrong before you are allowed to make a new choice.

Maybe the strongest reason to change is not because you cannot stand your body anymore.

Maybe it is because you finally understand how much it deserves to be cared for.

Keep going,
Dr. Brookh Lyons
Founder, Body Bella

You don’t need to be fixed. You need to be supported.
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To read the article that inspired this Body Bella observation: Is It Possible to Value Your Body While Changing It? - Psychology Today

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